June: Top Five Relationship Tips
JUNE BLOG:
Top Five- Relationship Tips
Often, we get caught up in the three arenas of life: work/school, home, the community. Whether you are happily single, looking for love, or in a relationship, here are five tools for you. Once you read this you will own the tools. You can add them to your toolbox. You can share them with other people, if you like them.
Contact me to share your success stories and get in a drawing to win a prize or be featured in an upcoming Spotlight Article!
Be true to YOU. Give yourself (at least) one thing to look forward to every day. EVERY DAY. Studies show your body will release more serotonin (the chemical that lets you know all is well). PositivePsychology.com pointed out it does not need to be anything big (like a trip to France). It can be as simple as planning to listen to your favorite song from when you were in middle school, or mindfully using your favorite soap to wash your hands, and paying attention to the things you smell, feel, and hear while doing it.
Be GRATEFUL. Starting today, write one thing one person makes you feel grateful for. Put it in a container and read them all at the end of the month. It does not need to be a partner or a mate. It could be a parent, a child, a work friend, or your best friend from a job you had three years ago. Psychologytoday.com pointed out the point: grow the habit of gratitude because it opens the door to new relationships, if you are single. If you are in a couple, then it opens the door to new relationships. If you are in a couple, it fortifies your bond
Do one difficult task every week. Only you know what is difficult for you. But remember: your one difficult task does not need to be taming a mountain lion, or learning a foreign language in one month, or mastering karate. Do one realistically difficult thing. For me, it means completing an item on my “to do” list. I’ve been renovating my 1906 home for the last 20 years. Studies show tackling one hard task every week gives a person feelings of well-being, improves self-esteem, and even can lengthen a person’s life!
LISTEN to your date. Do you ever hear people speak of past relationships like this: “I don’t know what I was thinking.” NPR.org points out 3 in 10 relationships survive, yet 8 in 10 people believe they have a soul mate. What to listen for? Does your date say one thing but do another? Statistically, looks and money do not matter. What matters is whether you genuinely like your date. Go easy on yourself.
LISTEN to your mate. If you and your mate have the same fight over and over, sit down together. Use active listening. www.verywellmind.com describes how to do it: have one person summarize the argument. Have the other person repeat back the information, without any emotion words, and without emotion.
You don’t have to do it alone. I am a licensed clinician. Contact me for a free 30 minute consultation. It does not have to stay this way. You deserve to feel heard. You deserve to feel happy. You deserve to feel safe. www.therapyfellows.com choose Individual and Family Therapy and use password Picture1925
