February: Relationships or, Was Ke$ha right? Is Love a Drug?
There are several legends about the origin of Valentine’s Day, but relationships permeate every aspect of our lives. Science regarding health benefits of being with other people. We all remember the first blush of new romance. Conversations with an attentive partner, each going out of their way to embrace the interests and hobbies of the other.
What if you are looking for love again? What if you have been in a relationship for years and years and it doesn’t feel the same? What about other types of relationships? Your relationship to your boss, your college professors, your landlord, or just random strangers on the street? Do the same rules apply?
What about dysfunctional relationships? What about abusive parents? What about elder abuse? What about racism? What about other types of discrimination?
Is there one simple “one-size-fits-all“ solution? I would argue that there is. We start with ourselves. We start by being kind to ourselves. Sick quietly for 15 minutes and pay attention to your breathing. Let your thoughts wander where they will. Let your emotions come and go as they will. When you are ready take a deep breath in of all the good things and breathe out all the bad. Open your eyes when you are ready.
This is your Valentine’s Day homework: find one person every day and give them a heartfelt compliment that you would want for yourself. This person can be any of the folks I mentioned earlier. Some stimuli cause the brain to release oxytocin, dopamine, seratonin (read all about it in this scholarly article from Harvard: https://sitn.hms.harvard.edu/flash/2017/love-actually-science-behind-lust-attraction-companionship/
Ke$ha once intoned that love is a drug. I would argue you can cause your brain to secrete the same chemicals by performing random acts of kindness to people who you know, and people who you do not know.
You don’t have to do it alone. I am a licensed clinician. Contact me for a free 30 minute consultation. It does not have to stay this way. You deserve to feel heard. You deserve to feel happy. You deserve to feel safe. www.therapyfellows.com choose Individual and Family Therapy and use password Picture1925
